Beer Review: Heineken

It has been brought to my attention that many of the beer reviews on The IBU would benefit from some sort of contextual comparison. I understand that how a beer tastes is ENTIRELY subjective and that my palate could be vastly different than someone else's. Therefore, I have decided to review a very popular beer that, in my opinion, most beer drinkers have tried, Heineken!

Officially defined as a "Euro Pale Lager," Heineken is very similar to American "macro lagers" such as Budweiser and Coors. They are well known for their slightly-shorter-than-normal green bottles, an aspect that might be criticized in other beers, but which probably does not affect the taste too much. You will see why in a moment. The beer itself...

I got a Heineken on tap with my meal and it was served in smallish glass with the creamy head that you come to expect from their television commercials. The head dissipates after just a couple minutes leaving a soapy film on top of the golden straw-colored beer. Overall, it looks slightly more appealing than a bud or a light beer but only just.

The smell of the beer is not bad; I get a hint of sweetness and a little dose of  "funkiness." It is difficult to describe this note, though it does come up again in the taste. I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that this is a beer from a keg and thus could possibly be different from bottled beer however I have had Heineken from a bottle several times and there does not seem to be a discernible difference.

Upfront, this beer is sweet. There is a slight bitterness that tempers the sweetness but there is a definite and prevailing grainy sweetness to this beer. Typical of mass-produced lager. Let's get back to the "funkiness" I mentioned earlier: if anyone has read my review of Blue Moon, what I am trying to describe is similar to the "musty" scent I described there. In my opinion it is not the most desirable of characteristics though it does seem like this is an intentional flavor and not a product of skunked beer (credit Beeradvocate) given that it is present in the keg beer I am reviewing (not to mention in cans as well).

I would say that the body of Heineken is a bit fuller than Budweiser or similar mass-produced lager but it is not by much. There is a somewhat creamy mouthfeel but, again, these qualities are outweighed by a general wateriness and light mouthfeel. The carbonation in Heineken is nice (read: not over-carbonated like many euro pale lagers), which I guess is a redeeming quality.

Given that the price of Heineken is in the range of some [actual] craft beers, I expect the taste to be much better than it is. I find little difference between this and your generic american lager but I also would not go so far as to say I would never drink it again; it is refreshing and could be a good deal if you catch it on sale.
Bottom line: if it has to be beer and this is the only offering, don't sulk... Heineken will suffice for a good compliment to your meal but it's simply not good enough to be on my shopping list.

Score: C-  2.25/5

Beer Review: Chimay Blue

I am writing this beer review from Barcelona, the most amazing city I've ever been to, but not particularly known for their craft beer scene. Perhaps an article will be coming soon about why that might be... but I digress. Chimay Blue; I have never tried a Trappist ale until now and I must say, with all the hype surrounding them, it better be good! Let's see if it was...

I drank this at my dorm in Barcelona with no real beer glassware to speak of so instead of the tulip that I would have poured it in back home, this beer gets the generic IKEA glass treatment! Even with the 12oz
tumbler, the head forms nicely though it doesn't stick around for very long. The deep amber hue of the beer is par for the course in terms of a Belgian strong dark ale (which is what this beer is). All in all definitely a great looking beer in keeping with what I've experienced with Belgian ales thus far.

The first whiff of this beer gave me a glimpse as to what this aforementioned hype was all about; intense bready aroma dominates here though you can smell a bit of fruitiness.

To put the taste in context, I have had a Belgian strong dark ale before (see my review of Unibroue's Maudite) but this is the real stuff; straight from Belgium. The first sip reveals a taste profile much like the smell; heavy bready malt taste and a jumbled dark fruit taste. The fruitiness reminds me a little like cranberry-grape juice but I can't be sure. Either way its pleasant but not exactly what I was expecting. Later sips reveal some bite to the fruit flavors, a little spiciness due to cloves maybe? No abrasive, jarring tastes here (still very flavorful).

This beer is smooth. Like Sean P-Diddy Combs smooth. Very easily to drink at 9% abv (which is unnoticeable by the way) and the carbonation is perfect.

I got a single 330ml bottle of this (hooray for the metric system!) for 2 euros (roundabout $2.68 with current conversion rates) which is quite a bit cheaper than a single back in the states. Would I get it again? Absolutely, worth every euro cent. Lots of bars here in Barcelona have bottles in stock for reasonable prices and the same can be said for respectable joints in the states which makes it an easy choice for a sipper when you're in the mood for something smooooth.

Score: A-  4.0/5